• Stan Stan the Review Man

    Stan’s his real name, but we made him officially change it to land the job. He’s a man who loves music, tv and the movies. Hell, he lives and dies for the stuff. And he’s here to put you straight and show you the way with his reviews. In Stan’s world, entertainment either Kicks Ass or Sucks Ass, and everything else – Taint Good, Taint Bad.

    Kenny G: He Still Blows

    Sax-O-Loco: The new single from Kenny G that is sure to drive you crazy - mind you, not in a good way.

    Inspired by Muzak and arranged in Hell, Sax-O-Loco appears on his new album Rhythm and Romance, which is the latest testament to this man's endless reserves of no talent.

    The only thing that could possibly make this album any worse is guest appearances by Yanni and John Tesh.

    In this epic piece of _______, Kenny crosses over and explores latin music. For this, he spent countless hours learning how to make his Casio drum machine produce a rumba beat.

    And now, he's got the latin flavor.

    Note to US Congress: We don't need a giant wall between Mexico and America, simply blast Kenny G's music through loudspeakers all along the border and trust me, no illegals will dare sneak across.

    ¡No puedo escuchar!

    As pictured, Kenny performs at one of the major stops for all recording artists, the Sony Ericsson Tennis Open?!?!!!

    Is this what it's come to Kenny, performing music where no man has performed before?

    I'm sure many in the audience were quietly praying for someone to aim a ball machine and pelt the musician with a stinging shower of tennis balls.

    Anything to make this composer of telephone hold music stop!

    But this "artist" - a term we use quite loosely here - will never stop. Much like his ability to endlessly sustain a note, his career just won't end.

    There's no reason to fight it anymore.

    Let's all just face it, Kenny G will blow forever.

    • The Office
      No one could have prepared me for this season of The Office. Every single episode is crazy funny. Steve Carell is a God and the rest of the cast is keeping right up with him. I didn't think it was possible to laugh this hard at regular TV, but The Office has renewed my faith. Sitcoms can be funny...really, really funny. If you don't believe me, then watch for yourself.
      - Kicks Ass
    • The Other Boleyn Girl
      In one word, amazing! It’s truly amazing how a movie about sex, betrayal, and jealousy could be so boring! This film has the two hottest starlets in Hollywood – Scarlett Johannsson & Natalie Portman – for crying out loud! How could it go wrong? In a good Hollywood film, there’s about 120 minutes of entertainment. Unfortunately, in this sleep aid, I can’t say there was even ten, and that’s counting the sex scenes.
      - Sucks Ass