John Mayer: One Step Closer to Sleeping with Everyone In Hollywood

These days, John Mayer’s penis puts the “wood” in Hollywood. It’s had more big-name actresses on it than the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Let face it, this boy has been busy, or more appropriately, getting busy.

For those of you who don’t know, John gave up music a year and a half ago to devote himself fully to sleeping with everyone in Hollywood.

And in no time at all, he has scored with so many. Here’s a short list:

Cameron Diaz
Jessica Simpson
Perez Hilton
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Heidi Klum
Justin Timberlake
Paris Hilton’s Dog
Jennifer Aniston

Friends of Jon say he’s out of control, like a meth addict who simply can’t get enough. Some have even tried to intervene.

Said one friend, “I don’t usually says this about men, but he’s a slut.”

This last week, Jon took his addiction one step further, by going out on a date with not just Jennifer Aniston, but also Courteney Cox and David Arquette.

He moved in quickly by planting a big one on Cox to get things warmed up. Sources say, he then cozied up to Arquette. The boy is unstoppable.

At the end of the evening everyone was all smiles.

Where this is headed – no one knows for sure.

But our guess is that it will end where it always does - in the bedroom, with John making sweet love to them while singing “Your Body is a Wonderland”.