Thanks for Nothing, Julie Newmar

Some clothes aren't meant to be worn when you're over 30, let alone 60.

Christ, ladies! Just say "no".

A man's libido is a sensitive thing and when it's exposed to something as wrong as this picture of Julie Newmar (opposite), it can be damaged; sometimes permanently.

Yes, Julie Newmar was once hot. Very hot. But that was like 50 years ago.

Images of her as Catwoman on Batman still cause a faint rush of blood, you know where. But today, she's just old.

Hell, not just old - she's half dead!

With that in mind, it's high time clothing was age restricted. Simply put, if you're over 70 like her, drop that mini skirt and don't you dare try to wear those fuck-me heels.

As a culture, we've simply gone too far. Think about it.

What kind of society allows tweens and the elderly to wear the same outfit?

We need to put a stop to this.

There's really nothing standing in our way. We already restrict so many things based on age - driving, the movies, alcohol - why not clothing?

All that's needed is a label on each item. Take Julie's outfit for instance: The label would read "Appropriate for those between the ages of 18 and 28."

It's that simple? And if an elderly citizen, such as Julie, tries to buy the outfit, the sales girl simply says "no".

And with that one small action, the world is saved. No one ever has to see Julie Newmar in such horrendous attire.

It is time to stand up, people. We, as a society, need to police these fashion crimes.

Talk to your congressman or woman today.