Martha’s Recipe for a Happy, Happy Holiday

Holidays are stressful and no one knows it more than Martha Stewart. After hand stenciling the ten thousand cards she sends out annually, flocking all the trees in a five mile vicinity of her home and baking 80,000 holiday cookies, she sometimes finds it difficult to unwind and relax.

So this year she has come up with a recipe that’s sure to be a hit with everyone – the Xanax Fruitcake.

The Xanax Fruitcake is a delicious creation that takes the edge off faster than any whiskey-laced eggnog ever did. And it’s so simple to make.

Ingredients

1 3/4 sticks (14 tablespoons) unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for the pan
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups (about 5 ounces) blanched almonds, finely ground
3/4 cups sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 bottle Xanax (or any other prescription grade pharmaceutical that you like)

Preparation

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter a 10-inch springform pan; set aside. In a large bowl, whisk together flour, ground almonds, sugar, salt, and vanilla. Cut in the butter with a pastry blender until it is completely incorporated and there are no dry crumbs. Squeeze the mixture to form pea-size to 1-inch clumps.

Gently press three-quarters of the mixture into the prepared pan, and sprinkle evenly with remaining crumbs. Bake until cookie begins to turn golden, about 25 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 300 degrees F, and continue to bake until golden brown. Transfer pan to a wire rack and the quickly press Xanax pills into the top of cake while it is still hot and moist.

Let cool completely.

Martha likes to make a couple fruitcakes for herself each year and always has one handy if family happens to stop by. There’s nothing like being able to medicate a loved one when the holidays get a tad overwhelming.

And if necessary, feel free to experiment by adding a variety of pharmaceuticals to your fruitcake.

Xanax Fruitcake - It's just what the doctor ordered this holiday.