China Reeling From Tainted Dog Meat Scandal

The dog meat from China, that is regularly snuck into all you favorite processed meats snacks, has been found to be tainted.

Say it ain’t so Fido!

So if you’ve got a hankering for delicious canned chili, bologna or that 1 dollar Mega-Dog at your local discount chain, you may want to stop, before you find yourself woofing in the toilet. Arf, arf!

Even Chinese officials don’t understand what went wrong, “Dog meat is something that is usually one of our most reliable product, each dog tested for good flavor and make sure no sick. No one understand,” explains Pu Deng, head of the National Cat Meat Cooperative.

Unfortunately there is not much time for those involved in the scandal to come up with any explanation. One thing about China, justice is swift and deadly.

The Head of Dog Meat Manufacturing and Processing in China, Wang Long is already scheduled for trial. He has said his goodbyes to his family, since he fully expects to be executed by the end of next week, ground up and stuffed into food products that need something to replace the tainted dog meat.

Maybe it’s his Buddhist temperament, but Wang has already come to terms with his fate and told us with a smile “I think it best thing…I hope become one good hot dog!”

When asked what went wrong he responds wistfully, “I no sure, but could be poodle. Bite me lots. No like Wang Long.”

Officials in America hope that this latest round of tainted Chinese products will make Americans buy healthier products made right here in the USA. They foresee a significant rise in sales of such wholesome goodies as Spam, Slim Jims and Beef Jerky.

So make sure to check product labels and be sure to eat American.