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Type

Prepare for a Head-On Collision with Porn

If cell phones didn’t distract drivers enough, they just added porn
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Vince Vaughn in Twenty Years

Drinking, eating and male pattern baldness may turn Vince into Jabba the Hut
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Ron Jeremy’s Penis Claims New Book is All Lies

Penis calls Jeremy a “complete dick” for writing such shit
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NY Giants Trap Tom Brady and Supermodel Girlfriend With Victory Celebration

Tom Brady forced to watch the party from apartment window
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Steve Wozniak and One Gorgeous Transexual

And the mystery guy or girl is...
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Jamie Lynn Hates Britney

Britney took all the good, white trash nicknames
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Tom Cruise Saves Man Struggling on Toilet Seat

For this actor, no mission is impossible
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Why Do The Good Ones Die Young?

StanStan weighs in on the recent tragedy
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Best Performance by Male With Strangely Large Head Goes To...

Javier Bardem becomes first actor to win new SAG award
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USA Today to Offer New Napkin-Sized Version

A paper that's sure to wipe up the competition
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